Episode 11: Don't Self Reject

self-rejection

There are so many educators that dream of working outside of the classroom, but something stops them from pursuing that goal: self rejection. It tends to not be the fear that others will reject them, but talking themselves out of the action before even getting a chance to try. 

I get it. It’s hard to put yourself out there and take a leap of faith on a new opportunity, but I’m here to tell you that you can! I’m sharing three steps that will help you recognize when you self reject and learn how to move forward.

In order to overcome your fears, you need to take action. My three steps in accomplishing that goal are doing it scared, celebrating the action, and letting others decide whether to move forward or not. I share how to acknowledge your feelings and determine when things are in and outside of your control, all of which will help you not self reject.

While it’s difficult, I challenge you to start reflecting on where you self reject and take the proper action and steps to overcome it. If you do, the reward far outweighs your fear of even starting!

 

Topics Discussed:

  • A look into what self rejection looks like

  • 3 steps to help you recognize self rejection, and how to move forward

  • Examples of things you’re in control of versus not in control of

  • Action steps to take that combat your doubts and fears

Resources mentioned:

Related episodes and blog posts:

 
 
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Read the transcript for this episode:

Today, we're going to talk about something I see teachers do all the time when they start to look for work beyond the classroom. And in all honesty, it's something I've done a lot before, too, I think we all have. I'm talking about self rejection. 

What is self rejection, you might say? Self rejection is what happens when we see a job posting that we're really interested in excited about and likely qualified for.

But then we start talking ourselves out of applying, coming up with reasons why maybe our experience isn't transferable after all, or maybe we actually aren't qualified. Has this happened to you? It has definitely happened to me. 

We need to stop self rejecting. When we self reject, we talk ourselves out of taking action before we even get a chance to try. So how do we get over this self rejection? I have three steps that you can take to help you recognize when you're self rejecting, and move forward through it. 

The first step is do it scared. We might not be able to get rid of those scary feelings, but we have to acknowledge them. Start by acknowledging whatever you're feeling, and investigating why you might be feeling that way. Usually, self rejection happens when we're afraid of failing or afraid of being rejected by someone else. No one likes that. 

So to avoid that pain or embarrassment, we talk ourselves out of the situation before it can happen. We're trying to keep ourselves safe. But instead we keep ourselves playing really small. So even just realizing when you might be sabotaging yourself can be helpful to overcome self rejection. 

After you recognize those scary feelings, do the thing you're afraid to do anyway. Don't let those feelings stop you. The feelings might not go away, they probably won't. But you don't have to let them stop you.

When you realize that you're the one keeping yourself playing small, you can intentionally take action to move forward anyway. You need to be the one who makes your dreams come true, not the one who stops them in their tracks. 

So the first step is really cultivating feeling uncomfortable and moving forward anyway, not waiting until those uncomfortable scary feelings pass to take action. But say hello to them, then celebrate that you're gonna go move forward anyway, and not self reject. 

Which leads us to our second tip, which is celebrate taking action. Because when you're looking for a new job or trying a new thing, there are some things that are within your control and some things that are not. So we're gonna focus on the things within your control. 

These things could include whether or not you apply for a job, you get to decide that. How amazing your resume and cover letter are, you get to decide that you get to decide are you going to just kind of like jot down a resume and get it done with really quick, or are you going to be really thoughtful and let your experience shine.

You also get to decide the steps you take to increase your visibility. Maybe you're gonna post on LinkedIn, maybe you're gonna reach out to a colleague and say you're interested in a certain type of job, you get to decide that you get to decide the steps you take, you get to decide how visible you're going to be. 

And along those lines, you get to decide how much you network and maintain these authentic professional connections. So you're going to decide if you're going to reach out to people today.

If you're going to make new connections online, if you're going to have coffee with somebody, you get to decide all those things, for they are within your control. 

Now the things that are outside your control can include whether or not you get an interview, or get hired. That's okay, that's out of your control. Focus on the things you can control instead.

Create an amazing cover letter, apply for jobs that would light you up that you feel excited about, whether or not you think you'll get them or not. Put your big ideas out there. Get visible, practice sharing what's important to you. 

Giving yourself the best chance possible to land the opportunities you want helps you ensure that you don't self reject. Now doing all these things within your control seems exciting, but it also can seem scary because these are the things that take us one step closer to our dreams. And being visible is often being vulnerable. But doing all these things is brave and a cause for celebration. 

So when you focus on doing those things within your control, applying for a job, making an awesome resume, making a professional connection, getting visible, celebrate that action. This momentum will propel you forward and move you closer to your dreams. So don't forget the celebrations. 

Step three kind of follows step two, and it's letting others decide whether to move forward or not. So you celebrated the action you took and how you refuse to self reject. Now let others decide whether you move forward in the process or not. You can rest easy knowing that you put your best foot forward and persisted. 

And whether or not you get chosen for a particular job, keep taking action, put those efforts into the things you can control, then work on doing these things better and better. It's not just about doing them, it's about getting better at doing them. So I don't want you to go out there and just apply for jobs randomly throwing resumes places,

I want you to do a good job, be thoughtful, improve your resume or cover letter, every time you apply. Get more comfortable sharing about the things that are important to you. Keep getting better with those things that you can control. 

If you didn't get the job you were hoping for try to revise your resume or put more effort into building connections who might be able to help you land similar jobs. There's always a way to move forward. And the most important thing to do is to keep going. 

The key to overcoming self rejection for good is to keep that forward momentum. Even after a setback or a disappointment. Celebrate and focus on what you can control and do not self reject. 

I encourage you to think about where you might be self rejecting in your life, and then take action to remedy it. How could you get more visible and really try to go after your dreams? What does it look like to really try and to get out of your way? Don't be the one that stops you. 

Thank you so much for listening. I hope that you don't find yourself self rejecting but I kinda think you might be because I know that I am and it's a continual process to combat self rejection. If you want to reach out direct message me on Instagram at @educatorforever and share how you're going to stop self rejecting. I am here to cheer you on. 

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