Episode 128: The Only Way Out is Through

When you're looking to make a change in your life, whether it's leaving the classroom or really anything else, it can feel completely overwhelming once you’ve decided to change. What do you do? You have plenty of options, but here’s what might not be obvious: having these moments is actually how we find our way to our next chapter.

On today’s episode, I explain the meaning of one of my favorite phrases, “the only way out is through.” We all know you learn though doing it, but if you look back at your struggles, there’s more lessons that you might not recognize right away. I’m here to convince you that when times get tough, it’s time to embrace the struggle.

 

Topics Discussed:

  • Why you need to embrace the whole process

  • You need to confront your perfectionism

  • When it’s all over, reflect and improve

Resources mentioned:

Related episodes and blog posts:

 
 
 
 

Read the transcript for this episode:

Welcome to Educator Forever, where we empower teachers to innovate education. Join us each week to hear stories of teachers expanding their impacts beyond the classroom and explore ways to reimagine teaching and learning.

When you're looking to make a change in your life, whether it's leaving the classroom or really anything else, it can feel completely overwhelming once you have that intention of like, okay, I want to make this change. What do you do? And really having these moments of like, well, what do I do to get there is key, like having these moments where we're confused, having these many moments so where we don't really see the way through is actually how we find our way to our next chapter. And so today, I want to talk to you about a phrase that I kind of live by, which is “the only way out is through.” And I think that it's so true. You know, we think about these times in our lives, of things we've overcame, or progress we've made, or things we've learned, and we've done that through a process. It's not like snap your fingers and this change happens, it's that we learn through doing it. And so as educators, I know that cognitively, we know this right, like we see students struggle and struggle and struggle and then finally have a light bulb moment. But it's only through the struggle and the struggle and the struggle that they get there, and when it comes to our life, so we can feel like we need to just immediately have this light bulb moment, we immediately need clarity, and that would be awesome, but that's not really how things generally happen. To get clarity, we have to feel confused. We have to kind of wade through these times of uncertainty to be able to find our way through them. And so if you find yourself in a time in your life, in a season of your life where you feel overwhelmed or unsure about your next step or not sure if you want to stay a classroom teacher, or not sure if you want to change companies that you're working with, or whatever it might be for you, I encourage you to think about what you're going to learn through the process of figuring this out, and when you think about that, the only way out is through. Or when I think about this, I think about really diving into this process in our business network call recently, I was talking to education business owners and talking about clarity in our messaging. And I was sharing that when I started educator forever, I really wasn't clear about our mission. I got clear by talking to many people and talking awkwardly about this thing that I was hoping to build, and through the many awkward conversations, I slowly got clarity. But I had to have those conversations. I had to have those times of looking at someone and being like, Oh, they really don't resonate with what I'm saying to understand not to say it like that. And I had to have times of having a conversation and having somebody nod along with me and be like, oh, people really resonate with it when I say it this way. Having that messy process is necessary, and so I encourage you to kind of dive in and see what you can learn through taking these baby steps. And I have three steps for you to take as you dive in. The first is to embrace the process. Any change you want to make in your life is going to take time. There are no shortcuts, and I know that can be frustrating, but really the process is where the magic happens. So embrace it. Embrace taking small steps forward. You don't have to have everything figured out. You don't have to have a perfectly mapped out plan. I know as teachers, we're often as we're often planners, and we want to have things perfectly mapped out, but even if we do like it's an illusion, however our life unfolds, is not going to be by this perfectly mapped out plan. It's going to be through diving in and trying out little steps and be like, is this right? Maybe it's not. Maybe it is, and finding your way through it. So really embracing the process is key, and then confronting perfectionism. So much of that perfectly laid out plan idea revolves around perfectionism, and I think that's a case for many of us as teachers and as part of our society, that we want things to be perfect, but like, perfectionism is a mechanism we use to try and control things we can't control, and so I want you to notice so when these kind of perfect thoughts are popping up for you, like, I have a really want to apply for this job, and I don't perfectly meet every part of the job description. That's okay. We have to confront perfectionism and apply anyway. Or I had an awkward interview, it definitely wasn't perfect. That's okay. What can you learn from it? It doesn't have to be perfect. We stop ourselves from doing so many things because we think it has to be perfect. But. Only way to get it anywhere near where we want it to be is by doing it, by having the awkward interview, by applying for jobs that you aren't qualified for, but learning through the process. All of those are how we learn, and so the first step is recognizing where is perfectionism showing up for you, and how can you confront it. We aren't going to be able to actively, like get rid of every single part of being a perfectionist, but we can recognize it, and we can take action to confront it by doing things imperfectly and building momentum along the way. And then my last tip for you is to build in reflection so often, as busy educators, as busy busy humans, we don't have time for reflection. We're just going and going and going and going and going, and we cannot even realize what we're learning or what we're working towards. And so I would make that learning visible for yourself, set some goals and track them in a way that feels good to you, even if that just means every month checking in and being like, Okay, what am I working on? Is this still what I want to be working on? What actions Am I taking to get me where I want to go? And what am I learning through the process? And you can even say like, and what do I want to course correct? What do I want to change? This is a dynamic process that will support you throughout your entire life. It's not just making it to an end goal. It's always having this flexibility to check in with yourself and say, What am I learning? What do I need to learn? And how am I going to get to my goals? So as you confront or get clear or clearer on your goals, I want you to really embrace the process, confront perfectionism and build in reflection, knowing that the only way out of a situation that you're in that you want to get out of is through we need to take action and action and action imperfectly to get to where we want to go and even To find clarity. And so I encourage you to really take that first step, and I would love to hear how it goes. 


Transcribed by https://otter.ai

Lily Jones